I Want You To Suffer

Why do I, at times, seem to gloat about my wonderfully free and happy life?

Why?

Because I want you to suffer.   I want you to read about my wonderful life and feel like shit.  I want you to feel absolutely miserable when you compare your horrible job, boring routine, and shitty compromises to my passionate, fun, exciting adventures.

There it is– naked and honest:  My Motivation.

And why do I want you to feel massive pain?  Because I want to goad you into an emotional crisis (see previous post)–  I want to push you, suddenly or slowly, past an emotional threshold.

I want you to become so angry, so sad, so upset… that you finally say, “Enough! No Fucking More! I Will Never Live Like This Again!”

Because I know if you are comfortable and numb, you’ll do nothing.  I know that if your life is “OK”, you’ll do nothing.   Lukewarm “OK” lives suck!   Because what they really are are bored, frustrated, failed lives.

Pain can be your ticket to the most extraordinary life you ever imagined–  if you focus on all of the pain caused by your failure to act, your failure to go for it, your fear of failing–  if you focus on that pain and amplify it and wallow in it, and hold on to it and strengthen it every day.

That is your ticket to the freedom you have always dreamed of.   Read my previous post… and then put yourself through the Dickens process everyday.   As a ritual, examine the part of your life you know you must change– to be passionate, alive, and totally fulfilled.    See and feel all the pain caused by not doing what you must do.  Feel it physically (I hunch my shoulders and tighten everything and create so much tension and misery in my body that I gag and almost vomit)– and link that physical pain to your current situation.

Feel the pain.   Suffer horribly.  Every day until you reach your limit and scream, “Enough!  No More!”

Then do what you must do.  Reclaim your life.

I’ll see you on the other side of that pain–  to celebrate your freedom!