Emotional Connection

I’m still reading Malidoma Some’s excellent book, “The Healing Wisdom of Africa”.   It’s got so many great insights into community– and the isolation experienced by so many in the West.

One key insight is that a community is created and made strong by EMOTIONAL connection.  Sharing emotion is absolutely key, according to Malidoma.  He explains that without shared emotion, the community quickly dies.

Malidoma therefore finds fault with many of our “rituals” in the West (which he calls “ceremonies”, not rituals)… because he feels that our “rituals” tend to be overly scripted, lack spontanaity, and lack strong emotion.  By contrast, the rituals of his African village are designed to elicit strong emotion within a community context.

I think Malidoma is right– and it explains to me one of the key obstacles to community in the West.  In my efforts to connect with a community, I have joined many groups, clubs, and organizations.  These are usually centered around a shared interest– some kind of artistic, athletic, cultural, or artistic interest shared by the whole group.

In the West, we think this is enough to create a community, but clearly it’s not.  I have found it extremely difficult to make meaningful friendships at these club meetings…  and I know I’m not unique.

The reason, I believe, is that there is absolutely no emotional connection within these groups.  While great for “networking”, they are devoid of deeper purpose or meaning.

And so, as community leaders we must find more compelling, emotional purposes for our group.  We must take on not only a particular topic of interest, but the deeper cultivation of each individual’s genius and heart.

We must remember that the practical REASON for the group is not at all the same as the much deeper PURPOSE…  and we must focus most of our energies on the latter.