An Instant

Change can happen in an instant.   You finally reach a threshold and you say, “Enough.  No Fucking More!”  Do it with your whole body, mind, and spirit…  and everything changes after that.

It happened to me just over two years ago.    I was working a “good” job– where I had a great deal of freedom.  For a year and a half, everything went well.  But then the inevitable bullshit crept in.  My boss started catching heat from the Korean management of our school…  who pushed him to regiment things more.. to “take more control”.

A growing list of bullshit rules followed.  I became more and more frustrated– yet another job going down the tubes.  Finally, one day after another horrible meeting, I hit my threshold.   Years of frustration poured out. I came home and went berserk… I yelled, and I said, “Fucking Enough!  No fucking more!”.

That’s when I decided to start my own business. It took 9 more months of experimenting, working, etc…  but that next summer I had my Independence Day– I quit the last job I would every have!  It was one of the best experiences of my life– I still feel giddy when I think about it.

But it was made possible by pain.  Massive frustration and pain.

Because I had an advantage over most bored & suffering workers–  I didn’t push the boredom and frustration away– I wallowed in it.  I amplified it.   I put myself into a state where the pain and boredom finally became unbearable-  so unbearable that I HAD TO act.

Too many people do the opposite.  They are not excited, fulfilled, and passionate about their job…  (or any job).   But they MINIMIZE the pain of that.   They minimize the boredom.  They make excuses.  They distract themselves.   They think about other things.  They tell themselves easy lies such as, “This is just life.  This is normal.  It’s too late to change.”

They avoid, minimize, and numb the pain–  and so they never take action.  They never reach that emotional and physical threshold..  As a result, they waste their entire lives doing something that does not fulfill them at the deepest level.  This is what Thoreau was talking about when he wrote, “The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.”

But it can change– everything– in an instant…  if you just build and amplify the pain until you hit your threshold.

Two months ago, my mother did this.  After 40+ years of lethargy and obesity and depression, she changed in an instant!

What happened?  She finally felt all of the pain.  She did an exercise at a seminar called “The Dickens Process”.  In this exercise, you focus on all of the pain that your action (or lack of action) has caused you in the past.   You don’t just focus on it… you use your body to actually FEEL it.  Then you amplify those feelings of emotional and physical pain.  (When I did it, I nearly vomited!).

After going through this extremely painful process focused on past consequences, you do it again while focusing on the present– all the ways your action (or lack of) is currently destroying you and your life.  Then you do this whole process again… imagining the increasingly horrible consequences and pain your action (or lack of) will cause 1, 5, 10, and 20 years from now.. if you continue.

It’s a gut-wrenching, very uncomfortable process– but it’s damn powerful.  Because for the first time, many people fully feel the total pain they are creating in their life.  They stop minimizing it.  They stop ignoring it.  They stop making excuses.. and they feel it all… the totality of failure, futility, ugliness, lies, boredom, frustration…….

My Mom hit her threshold during this exercise.  She finally felt all the pain caused by her lethargy and obesity and she said, “No Fucking More”.

Since that time, 2 months ago, she has:

• been a vegetarian
• eaten organic & green
• drank green veggie drinks every day
• exercised 4-7 times a week
• lost 42 pounds
• eliminated depression
• inspired my entire family

No one in my family ever thought my Mom would do it.  After 40+ years of excuses, everyone had given up on my Mom (because she had given up on herself).

But she changed it all in an instant– by purposely pushing herself to an emotional threshold and beyond.

The point is this:  Stop avoiding the pain–  do the opposite.  Whatever bullshit you have accepted in your life… stop making excuses for it.  Stop pretending its OK.   Focus on the pain it’s causing, has caused, and will cause.   Amplify that pain… feel it in your body… and do this every damn day until you reach your own emotional threshold. Increase the pain until you can’t take it anymore and shout, “No Fucking More!”